I Keep My Exoskeletons to Myself by Marisa Crane

The way Crane captures Kris’ grief is beautifully poetic in the way that it conjures images to represent the complicated feelings that are often difficult to put into words. The novel’s first-person narration reads like an open letter, or more aptly, an open wound, as Kris’ thoughts are often directed to her late wife, Beau, who Kris is desperate to hold onto throughout the novel. While the political constraints play a significant role in the character's lives, the context never overshadows Kris' personal journey through grief and parenthood.

But as Kris breaks through social isolation and builds a supportive community for herself and her daughter, the text resonates with hope and offers the counter argument that catharsis isn’t in justice but in redemption and forgiveness. Unlike her daughter, the origin of Kris’ second shadow is an unspoken shame she clings to, and does not reveal until later in the book, which feels like an intentional choice Crane made to highlight the ways we want to categorize crime and the validity of punishment. Crane uses this juxtaposition to pose the question of what is real crime and what is a just punishment. Those without shadows assume the worst, even though the shadow policy does not differentiate between someone who committed a murder and a baby whose mother dies in childbirth. At times, the politics feels reminiscent to our own onslaught of conservative radicalization reflected in policy as Kris notes, “it hadn’t happened overnight, it took a million tiny stabs to bleed democracy dry,” and “like so many in power before him, President Colstein is an expert at tapping into the country’s shared anxiety, at using it to fuel mass delusion.” Outside of the government regulations, the more prominent result of the shadow policy is segregation and shame as Shadesters are viewed as social outcasts from ‘lawful’ society and forced to carry around proof of their guilt. Those with extra shadows are cast as second-class citizens known as Shadesters, who are subjected to additional tax, home surveillance, as well as an ever-growing list of restrictions and regulations. As part of a newly implemented crime reform, the President and the Department of Balance have abolished prisons with the catch that those who commit a crime will be marked with an extra shadow.

Upon her daughter's birth, and her wife's death, Kris’ baby is immediately given a second shadow. From the beginning, Crane captures the reader's attention with the startling, speculative nature of the book while introducing the multifaceted layers of conflict wrapped up in one moment.

I Keep My Exoskeletons to Myself by Marisa Crane